Mental Health! What is mental health? How do you define mental health? Is
there a straight jacket definition for it? Are we still struggling to express
what exactly we mean by it? Do we know whether we are a victim of it?
Okay! First of all, what comes to our mind when we say mental health? Of course,
we have read articles about it, we have had conferences going on explaining the
mental health, but are we really brave to understand and accept that we all are
suffering with mental health at some stage of our life! Shocking huh? Yes, we
do! And when we do.... How to really detect it! Well, like if we have a physical
illness, we consult a doctor - for e.g., if you have a pain in your stomach, you
consult a doctor.
Why? Have you ever wondered that why can we detect that pain in our stomach? Why
and how our brain detects the pain going inside our stomach while it fails to
detect the pain going inside of it own? Have you ever given even a slightest of
thought that when this work of detecting the pain is done by our brain, then why
does it only detect physical pain and not the pain going on inside it?
It's simply because since our childhood we have been bought up in this manner.
Our parents and our elders have taught us to just talk about our physical
difficulties or pain. As kids, our parents enquire about what is troubling us,
tell the same to the doctor so that the problem or pain can be taken care of!
This unfortunately is not same with our mental health? Does someone ever ask -
Are you okay? Or how are you feeling today? Are you feeling lonely? Are you
stressed? Is your work okay? No one ever asked and no one ever heard. The real
conversations! The real deep us!
No one ever asked or guided, and we thought these dark feelings never existed.
From the beginning we never knew that anything like mental illness ever existed.
Never knew that there can be a cure for it. How is it expected of any person to
understand it? Even if one understands, the question arises -How to express it?
Nowadays, Mental Health is one of the most popular topics! Today, whenever we
hear about mental health, the first thing that comes to our mind is depression,
loneliness, stress, anxiety etc. What I believe is that depression is probably
the last stage when a person is done fighting mentally to his mental pain and
finally accepts his situation.
Have you ever wondered how and why this emotional turmoil, going on inside us,
reaches its destination called depression? Like we have stages in physical pain
from mild to moderate to severe, similarly there could be stages even with our
mental status. Just give it a thought!
Now the question arises, what to do about it? Physical pain can be taken care of
with medicines, so how to treat pre stages of mental condition. (Of course, here
I am talking about the pre depression stage, because after that you must consult
I believe that if the pain is physical, we take physical medicines right? So if
pain is emotional it has to be treated emotionally!! But the big question is
Well, we all at some point of our lives feel that there is no one to hear us
out! We have friends, family, and our loved ones near us so then why do we even
feel that there is no one to listen to us?
People existed peacefully even before these modern times. In older days there
was a time, where we had to write letters to our loved ones to just know if they
were ok! Telephones were rare and letters were the major medium of
communication. There were no cell phones, no highly active social media or other
means of communication, unlike today.
Today connecting people has become so easy, thanks to the revolution called
Internet and other social media platforms. In older days, it took months and
even years to find our love interest, to find our soulmate. Today even that is
In modern days one can easily switch to dating apps and find a suitable match!
Isn't it ? But then, when everything is so easy, when we can connect with
whomsoever we want, may be on WhatsApp or Instagram or Facebook or any other
social media platforms, why are we still alone? Why do we feel lonely? Irony,
The thing is, that while using all the high-tech social media which is for our
entertainment, we have forgotten the basic element of Love. No! I am not talking
about lovers love but just love!! The thought here is, since we are so poor at
accepting other emotions going on inside us like hatred, ego, anger, sadness,
etc. then how can we be so good at accepting love? Many times, I come across
people telling me, don't you know social media's life is not real?
Wait! What? Are we all living just a reel life? And if we are, when will we
start living a real one? And if it's not real, how can you expect yourself to be
truly happy about it? Isn't it a cause of stress now? For instance, today to
like someone's post on Instagram, you click on the heart icon and the person
gets to know that their friends liked it! Moreover, now we have even more
emoticons to express the likeness in various ways.
Even Better! Good growth! But how about using the features properly? How about
just asking a friend of yours, whose picture you liked, whether they are, okay?
How is everything going on? And rather than just viewing the post and making a
blind eye to it, why not communicate directly? How about starting a conversation
in real rather than just liking a post silently? May be a new bond can be
created? Or maybe we find someone to just listen?
The problem is that in earlier times people didn't have mobile phones or other
gadgets, but their intensions were pure!! The intension was love, care for that
person, so gadgets or we may say medium of communication didn't matter. We did
not have technology in earlier days, but we also did not have mental pressures
arising mental problems during that time! Just to advice, I am not against
social media, nor am I against any gadgets or technology. I am also a part of
this big social media industry. All I am saying is - Have we really given
ourselves to be controlled by technology completely?
The reason, I suppose is, that while we started using everything, we have the
benefit of, and posting our lives on social media platforms we forgot to share
our moments with our loved one's! While writing posts to our stories, we forgot
to listen!! While doing our daily chores and getting caught up in the vicious
corporate sector, we forgot the value of time!! While dating apps were to easy
to connect, we forgot the basic element of Love!!
My question here to myself is that, when there's no one to listen, how will one
express himself ? How will one know, how to deal, with the situation or what's
going on inside us when we have no one to talk to? Is it simply because we have
given up on love! I don't know, how many of you will agree on this, but yes, we
have given up on the power of love. Okay, so you would be thinking, given up on
power of love?
Are you serious here? No! Just to clarify, how many of you confuse attachment
with love? Yes, you can be emotionally attached to someone, yet still not in
love with them! When we are just attached to someone, we tend to control them
and in that moment of controlling, our faith is gone!! Isn't it? And when
there's no faith, how can there be love?
In today's times, when it's written everywhere - 'Just be yourself and the world
will adjust', I guess, if everyone starts thinking alike, then who will adjust
and who will live?
Everyone wants to grow and be successful surpassing the other person, and in
doing so we encounter ego, here who will be successful and who will bow down for
the sake of love? When we are surrounded by judgements of what people think
about us, then how will we live?
And if we can't live happily then how in the world is it possible to not be
stressed? How in this world, is it possible to not have mental health suffered?
Aren't we the creators of this root cause? And if, we are the creators can't we
destroy it? Can't we put the power of love over the power of ego, anger,
anxiety, sadness and most importantly depression?
Can't we just choose to understand that in place of judging someone's life,
can't we choose to just listen to the other person rather than just giving an
advice abruptly. Can't we make the person feel that they are not alone in this?
Can't we express love by just taking care of it and by simply being responsible
towards it? My question is ..... Can't we give "LOVE" a chance? Probably, half
of the problem will be sorted by itself!! Isn't it??
Views are personal only, and not targeting any group or any social media
Written By: Nidhi Samanotra,
Advocate, Delhi High Court
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