The family is like the forest: if you are outside, it is dense; if you are
inside, you see that each tree has its own position.
We as individuals are selfish, when it comes to our own wants & Needs especially
satisfying own self esteem there is nothing, we can do about it as its ingrained
in our spine not to bend, yet they are few instances we have settle for the
things we are not ready for.
As this Research paper is about the childís perspective towards the Separation
of its parents with door of life with a rough path.
Family as sweet the word sounds come with a lot promises and determination to
spend their life together till the death apart them, yet few couldnít have the
conviction to carry this wedlock due to various reasons, circumstances leave
each other for their own endeavors that is called divorce.
Divorce usually means children lose daily contact with one parentómost often
fathers. Decreased contact affects the parent-child bond and according to a
paper published in 2014, researchers have found many children feel less close to
their fathers after divorce.
Divorce as it sounds to individually not willing to spend their future together,
without thinking of the childís hazed future. A valuable life is at stack with
an unexpected upcoming a lot goes around that small mind who is unable to
understand what will be happening around him, which both parents should consider
Child needs both mother and father for a balanced nurture for become a
responsible individual if one of them leaves the hand the life of the child will
not able get those teaching which are required in the early part of his life.
These was a instance I saw inside court in Delhi high court a Writ has been
filled in front of a Division bench by the father to meet this child once a
week any day which was convenient for the parties, child age was 10 years
arguments were happening submissions going on generally these are very delicate
matters, Honíble Judges called the mother and child for an interaction,
subsequently father was called afterward out that father will granted custody
for the child from today itself and the order was passed, as the father was
getting close the child, he becomes defensive not willing to go was holding
mothers cloths as he is some stranger, father tired to constant effort to the
child understand yet this continue for 10 minutes, it was a distress
situation to watch, immediately after looking at the situation order was
reversed, it concluded one thing in a very impactful way divorces do leave hard
imprint on childrenís mind.
A Child must face a lot will all this ups & downs all that while he just wants
to stay with his parents happy excepts pugnacious.
Kids may feel angry about divorce. If you think about it, it makes sense. Their
whole world is changing ó and they donít necessarily have much input.
There is instance we have seen inside the court premises child get separation
anxiety which in cases occurs when custody is granted to Father, following are
the few symptoms
- clinging to parents
- extreme and severe crying
- refusal to do things that require separation
- physical illness, such as headaches or vomiting
- violent, emotional temper tantrums
In much of the divorce cases, itís clear that kids are resilient. The effects of
separation tend to be more challenging in the first 1 to 3 years.
Which can be fatal for the development, Addition to this thereís one more
Illness child may go through Depression. Even more concerning, a few are also at
higher risk of suicide threats or attempts. While these issues can impact kids
of any age, they tend to be more prominent with kids ages 11 years and older.
And boys may be more at risk of suicidal thoughts than girls.
While observing everything in between their parents they tend to have wind up in
the same position as their parents in the future.
To procure and safe our children to from the devastating mental setbacks we as
parent need to make the divorce process smooth enough, we must agree a child
needs both parents as they are the foundation of his life, itís not about the
custody of child itís about the overall development with most important
Psychological health of the child.
For the understanding tell your child about logistics (whoís moving out, where
theyíre moving, what visitation might look like, etc.), and itís assuring to
them if thereís some framework in place.
Consider telling your childís teacher a day or so before you tell your child.
This gives the teacher a heads up if your child begins acting out or needs
support. Of course, you can also request that the teacher doesnít mention it to
your child unless your child mentions it to them.
Have a conversation with your child, so child can absorb and understand the
The paramount consideration should be the welfare of the child and due weight
should be given to childís ordinary comfort, contentment, health.
All small factors should consider for the wellbeing of the child which are as
Helping Kids Adjust
Adults who experienced divorce during childhood may have more relationship
difficulties. Divorce rates are higher for people whose parents were divorced.
Parents play a major role in how children adjust to a divorce. Here are some
strategies that can reduce the psychological toll divorce has on children:
Intense conflict between parents has been shown to increase childrenís distress.
Overt hostility, such as screaming and threatening one another has been linked
to behavior problems in children.3 But minor tension may also increase a
childís distress. If you struggle to co-parent with your ex-spouse, seek
Avoid Putting Kids in the Middle
Asking kids to choose which parent they like best or giving them messages to
give to other parents isnít appropriate. Kids who find themselves caught in the
middle are more likely to experience depression and anxiety.
Maintain Healthy Relationships
Positive communication, parental warmth, and low levels of conflict may help
children adjust to divorce better. A healthy parent-child relationship has been
shown to help kids develop higher self-esteem and better academic performance
Even though divorce is tough on families, staying together for the sole sake of
the children may not be the best option. Children who live in homes with a lot
of arguing, hostility and discontentment may be at a higher risk for developing
mental health issues and behavior problems.
Consequently, following a parental separation, it's normal for kids to struggle
with their feelings and their behavior immediately afterwards, for reduce the
complications parents must be conscious and think from the childís perspective,
by way of awareness with the child mental health will put great effort for the
better upbringing of the child, I would love to add this at last, parents have a
greater responsibility towards the child before themselves.
Written By Mridul. Y. Suri
- Lahari Sakhamuri Vs Sobhan Kodali On 15 March, 2019 CRIMINAL APPEAL NO(S).
500 OF 2019