I am 34-year-old woman. I am going through a divorce right now. My husband lives in the UK. We got married in 2005 and moved to the US, we lived there for 5 years and our marriage broke down during that time due to various reasons and incompatibility issues. I returned to Indian in 2010.
Since then, I have been trying to get my husband to file for a divorce. And every time I asked him he used to give me different answers like "The divorce is in the process" "my lawyers are working on it" etc. but never gave me any substantial answers.
I hired a lawyer in January 2012, and then one day I found out that my husband had gotten married again to an American woman without divorcing me. I got all the wedding ceremony pictures from Facebook, but I did not file an FIR as my lawyer suggested we send a petition first.
Then, my husband began talking, he revealed that he had filed for an exparte divorce on grounds of desertion and cruelty in 2011. He also revealed in his email that he was indeed married but only had the ceremony but did not register his wedding.
Over the period of time, we also found out that he had not just lied to me and my lawyer, but he had also lied to his lawyer about my non-existence.
My lawyer told me that the divorce will be settled in a matter of two months (October 2012) as the divorce period of waiting for 6 months had already passed. All we had to do was get a mediation done, convert the case into a mutual consent and get the divorce.
And since then, we have been going back and forth with the compensation terms, I initially demanded a compensation of XYZ lakhs. I lost 5 years of my career in the US without a job and that has stopped my career from progressing. I have to start from scratch each time I look for a job, before my marriage I was a team lead in a company and was in a good position with a prospect of a good future, but the 5 years gap just ruined my chances of having a great career.
Meanwhile, my husband is an MBA from IIM Bangalore and is an investment banker with HSBC. And even after his second marriage fiasco, he still lied and lied. He even lied to his own lawyer saying that I had deserted him and did not know about my whereabouts and gave the wrong address in the court summons when he was very much in touch with me from 2010-to present.
Now, when I asked for Rs XYZ, he kept giving sob stories about how he does not have money and so he sent his pay slips and bank balance. He claims that he does not have a bank account in the UK (he moved to the UK in 2011) and that he is in a subcontracting job for HSBC and does not make any money. He also said that he can't come to India because his passport is stuck with his contractor and that if he came to India then he would lose his visa to go back to the UK (which I highly doubt because he came to India in February to get married in Chennai, he had two weddings, one in NYC and one in India).
But after a few discussions, I was willing to settle for Rs X lakhs.
A couple of days later, I went through all my emails...and just was exasperated and disturbed by the fact that he had taken me for granted for the last two years and lied so much to me...I was here in India trying to get a job and making ends meet and support my family, while he was getting plum jobs and having lavish weddings, going for expensive holidays and that kind of made me very angry and I felt that this man has been lying to me, if I hadn't warned him about the FIR, he would have just given me the final divorce paper without me having a say in it.
So, after a lot of thinking, I changed my mind about the compensation and felt that X lakhs is nothing. I mean, he is an investment banker and for him its a 3-month salary in British Pounds, and X lakhs is not going to replace the life that I lost for five years which I am still trying to get back. He did not give up his job to go to America, even after we separated he got married again and did everything but I was left without a say without a choice. I felt it was completely unfair the way he had treated me the last two years and so I decided to ask for Rs 50 lakhs.
Finally, after a lot of going back and forth, we settled for Rs XY lakhs which he said he would give in installments. He agreed to it but told me he will give it in 10 installments. But I told him that I want the payment in two parts and not in 10 parts as he had offered.
During the next couple of months, the settlement completely watered down. Now, all I am left with is hearing dates. Somehow his lawyers have figured a trick that they can keep postponing the hearing dates and one day I will just give in and settle for just a divorce with no compensation whatsoever.
And that trick is kind of working on me right now because every month I go to court and get the date for the next month. The case is just not moving forward. I am on the verge of giving up and will just settle for a divorce and move on with my life. But on one end, I want to fight this battle and that's why I am writing this e-mail to you.
I also went ahead and hired a criminal lawyer and even the criminal case has taken a backseat because the judge does not seem bothered and keeps postponing the hearing.
1. Will filing a FIR be a long process as he is in UK. Will it take time because of the way Indian police works and also because of the fact that he is in another country.
1B. What are the consequences of filing the FIR? Will he be deported immediately? If yes, then what are the
chances of getting any compensation in that scenario?
2. My next hearing dates are as follows: Family Court: July 19 Criminal Court: July 20. What should be my next course of action? My husband's lawyer are supposed to put up their evidence which they are not doing and have postponed the dates twice already.
3. Should I warn him by saying that I will report the bigamy to the UK immigration/Border agency? I went over their website and they do have a complaints section for fraud.
I also think that both my lawyers are laid back in their approach which is why the case has not moved forward in the first place. Could you please give me a clear understanding of what my next step should be? A step that will send shockwaves to my husband.
I look forward to your advice.