I need help.
I am engaged to a girl few weeks back. I was not 100% sure about my decision and under family pressure I agreed. I was frustrated that my marriage was not happening since long time. One of my elder brothers is divorced and my parents are not very social. Hence we were not getting enough proposals. Now after engagement I met the girl twice to cross verify that my decision was not pathetically wrong before arriving on any conclusion. Now I feel that I am not happy with my decision at all and think that it will be a very big compromise on my end to proceed with the marriage.
I do not want to ruin hers as well as my life. I am feeling very guilty about the hasty decision made by my family and the impact which has been made on the girlís family. My intent was never to cheat her. But I cannot risk my life and hers by taking another hasty decision.
The girl is a bit depressed and not willing to call off this engagement. She has said a few times that she may commit suicide. I am horrified by this.
I am not willing to proceed with marriage with this girl is because to medical reasons. She is suffering from cosmetic facial medical concerns which I was not aware before engagement. Later on when I discovered that this problem is permanent and not curable I got very upset and distressed. She is allergic to sun and has hormonal imbalance. Her medical condition is very rare and cannot be easily guessed by any person. The photographs which were sent to us prior to engagement didnít reveal any marks/spots. The marks to an extent are environment specific. She will have to permanently prevent sun during peak times of the day. During summer and after pregnancy this problem intensifies. She was continuously rejected by lot of guys. This is most likely to be transferred in off-springs as well.
Her family is very orthodox and not liberal in views at all. They didnít tell us about this. When the day I saw her prior to engagement she was ill (she was suffering from cold and fever) and hence due to adverse reaction of some medicine she may have temporarily developed such marks. This had happened to me some time back. But her condition is completely different. It is a big blunder which has occurred.
Her father has made the engagement a grand event (video shooting was done and photographs were captured). Now is threatening that he will commit suicide if we say no. He has threatened to go in media and put several charges like cheating on all the attendees in the engagement from our family. My parents and family are in fear and pressure. I am continuously requesting the girl to park this matter peacefully so that both the families can live happily. We have not asked for a penny to him (dowry).
I want to know the following things
1. What charges can the girlís father make on my family?
2. Is there a way wherein I can take the blame on myself only and prevent other family members from the legal and policy inquiries/arrests if any?
3. Can we do something to safeguard ourselves against any claims (cheating/dowry) made by her family?
4. I donít want to see my family behind the bars. Is breaking of engagement considered as a cognizable offense?
5. We are ready to pay back all the expenses incurred till date from the girlís family in this matter. How should we approach the girlís family in this direction? We are worrying that if we send a legal letter he can get annoyed and drag us in court/police
I want to cease this matter as soon as possible and relieve my family from this problem. My intention is to save both the families from the problems which may arise if I am asked to forcefully marry the girl.