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Author Topic: Wife is refusing to divorce or stay together  (Read 4282 times)

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Offline stoney

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Wife is refusing to divorce or stay together
« on: April 11, 2014, 02:05:30 AM »
we were married in 2009 (in mangalore India) and in 2013 she along with her mother took our 3 month old baby and left in my absence when I was at work. She then sent an email saying that she still wants the marriage but refuses to call, email or come back to the UAE where Im working. Her mother and family have repeatedly threatened to extract all money from me and my family (we are very middle-class people) by misusing the current indian laws which are pro women. And they always lie about everything deniying everything Ive done or do for my wife and child.

For the first two years we had a good marriage but after she got a job, her mother who is extremely greedy for money started creating problems for me by forcing her to go against me despite me loving her with all Ive got. She stopped sharing in expenses and refused to put in savings for the future and kept sending money to her mother who happily went and bought and new car and was playing with shares and mutual funds. Ive given my wife everything she wanted but because of her mother she is now refusing to come back and is asking me to leave everything and stay with her in her house under her parents knowing fully well that i will not agree to this. Also she, under the influence of her mother is threatening my parents over the phone to force me to give her full authorization to take everything from my bank account. My parents have repeatedly tried convincing her to reconcile and think of our little baby's future if not hers. But she's happy at her parent's place as her brother is earning now and is not yet married and also her father is just retired .She has always been in touch with her old colleagues, girlfriends and boyfriends from Bangalore and is in her comfort zone and is hence refusing to co-operate or communicate. Her mother prides herself with ruining lots of relationships just because it didn't serve her purposes and i never though she would do that to her own daughter who is blindly following her instructions

Me and my family are feeling totally helpless and are having sleepless nights thinking about the future of our child and this marriage which is being held hostage by them to extract money. How can I proceed to get them to take a step either divorce or reconcile as they are not communicating at all even over the phone and are leaving me and my family hanging in this torture. Ive lived as a bachelor but I am a complete family man and can't bear the thought of living life away from my little baby and am scared of the upbringing and difficulty she will go through in that immoral family. Plus the thought of her never knowing who I am or being able to hold her in my arms is like getting totured and killed everyday.

Can they get a benefit through delaying taking a step now and is there any way to avoid being falsely accused or trapped by the divorce laws in India as they plan to do with me? How can I avoid being a victim to their tactics if they don't divorce or if they do initiate divorce?

Offline advbose

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Re: Wife is refusing to divorce or stay together
« Reply #1 on: April 12, 2014, 11:40:31 PM »
Why are u scared of the law. The constitution guarantees right. To equality before law to all. No one can take that away from u. Be brave don't create opinion based on hearsay. Now first get all possible information about your wife, which can be used in court against her. Her where about, affairs if any, her salary, her behaviour towards your baby etc everything. Once u have enough evidence. File for divorce and child custody simultaneously. Do this much than let us know

Offline gopal

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Re: Wife is refusing to divorce or stay together
« Reply #2 on: April 13, 2014, 12:25:23 AM »
Hey stoney, there is no need to fear the law nor do u need to fear your wife...
all u need to fear is your lawyer and your wife's lawyer in matters of family law.... Both of u will be reduced to puppets in the hands of vakil sahibs.... That is where is the actual problem

Offline stoney

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Re: Wife is refusing to divorce or stay together
« Reply #3 on: April 14, 2014, 11:05:13 AM »
Why are u scared of the law. The constitution guarantees right. To equality before law to all. No one can take that away from u. Be brave don't create opinion based on hearsay. Now first get all possible information about your wife, which can be used in court against her. Her where about, affairs if any, her salary, her behaviour towards your baby etc everything. Once u have enough evidence. File for divorce and child custody simultaneously. Do this much than let us know

Yes but I dont have any evidence or so. And she's in India now so its impossible to keep track of what's going on there as they don't call or email me. isn't there any law in India where a woman can be penalized for taking the child and running away without informing?

Offline stoney

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Re: Wife is refusing to divorce or stay together
« Reply #4 on: April 14, 2014, 11:06:38 AM »
Hey stoney, there is no need to fear the law nor do u need to fear your wife...
all u need to fear is your lawyer and your wife's lawyer in matters of family law.... Both of u will be reduced to puppets in the hands of vakil sahibs.... That is where is the actual problem

Maybe you have a point but there's no other way for me to hold her accountable for her actions.

Offline advkkreddy

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Re: Wife is refusing to divorce or stay together
« Reply #5 on: April 14, 2014, 06:23:50 PM »
yes you can file against your wife for taking away your baby without your consent, she cannot do that, the child is yours too as much as its your wife's
Champion in law of Torts in India

Offline stoney

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Re: Wife is refusing to divorce or stay together
« Reply #6 on: April 17, 2014, 08:38:31 AM »
Does reaching the airport and calling from there while I was at work count for informing before leaving? Because that is what she did and totally caught me offguard. And her mother helped her with this.

Offline stoney

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Re: Wife is refusing to divorce or stay together
« Reply #7 on: April 20, 2014, 08:25:51 AM »
yes you can file against your wife for taking away your baby without your consent, she cannot do that, the child is yours too as much as its your wife's

How do I proceed legally to make sure she knows that sitting at her parents house with the child and refusing to come back or stay away from me is not an option? Under what all cases can I file for what she is doing to torture me and ruin that little baby's life?

Offline advlaxmanadvani

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Re: Wife is refusing to divorce or stay together
« Reply #8 on: April 20, 2014, 06:18:13 PM »
file for child custody and RCR, also make special mention of in laws extreme interference in your married life is the sole cause of this dispute.
Advocate laxman Advani
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Offline cleanheart2014

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Re: Wife is refusing to divorce or stay together
« Reply #9 on: April 30, 2014, 11:35:17 PM »
I have filed for divorce from my 5 months back. We were married in 1998 dec and since then she never stayed with me for a substantial period. 2 months after marriage she just left citing lack of space in my parents house in mumbai. all this inspite of having visited the same house b4 marriage twice with her parents.den she remained at her hometown in kolkata with her parents and inspite of me and my parents constant requests refused to come back. her father said dat de will send her back only after i have my own house. i could not afford a house on my own den as i had just started my career and fortunately got a house of my unclewho resided in usa for a very nominal amount. she returned after 6 onths and immed started pressurising me to move to kolkata saying she cannot adjust with my parents or the place or the food and dat she missed her parents too much

den after constant fights one day she threatened suicide by standing on the edge of the balcony after which i told her father to take her back with them. in the meantime her parents too interfered too much by frequenting our place within short intervals although my parent snever interfered and stayed in their own accomodation in mumbai whereas we were in thane

she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2008 after which i took care of her financially and emotionally. i came back to my home town pune as our disgreements rose too much and i started having anxiety attacks. i filed for divorce but now she says she wants to come back. she has taken help from a retired judge who is threatening that he can file a DV against me and my family. i have not even raised a finger at her ever. she had an affair in 2006 and made me meet her boyfirend to convince him to marry her. but dat episode had broken me and i just want a divorce as i have the right to carry on my normal life. she filed for restitution in supreme court and on health grounds is creating pressure for me to come back citing that her cancer has relapsed

i am under extreme pressure and need a fair treatment by the law

Offline advsarmaroy

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Re: Wife is refusing to divorce or stay together
« Reply #10 on: May 01, 2014, 01:34:19 AM »
She may file rcr or whatever, but at the end of the day its a family law matter.... No court not even supreme court can force u to forcefully co-habit with your wife.
Advocate Sarmaroy
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Offline cleanheart2014

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Re: Wife is refusing to divorce or stay together
« Reply #11 on: May 02, 2014, 06:09:52 AM »
thanks for your reply. it is heartening to know especially after some very anxious moments last few days. i have tried talking with her but she does not stop her tantrums and ego filled comments. a woman who never wrote a single love letter but now is finding unseen reserves of energy in proclaiming her love and how much she needs me. my lawyer tells me to go about my normal life, earn and do all normal things like evey body else(???)

i had one question in mind: what if i had to meet a nice woman any day during these days and fall in love? i have not been looking for one but open to it now as i have been lonely for a long time inspite of being married on PAPER!!

Offline advocatesingh

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Re: Wife is refusing to divorce or stay together
« Reply #12 on: May 02, 2014, 06:16:20 PM »
U cannot remarry without divorce
Singh and Associates
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Offline thanes1

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Re: Wife is refusing to divorce or stay together
« Reply #13 on: June 01, 2014, 12:27:06 PM »
I don't think you should be afraid of your wife.  Just talk to your lawyer.  Thank you for sharing your stroy.  Good luck.

 

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