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What should I do in current circumstances ?

Shall I talk to my wife and explain her my situation
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Shall I ask my wife and explain about question on rest of the life
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Author Topic: Married forcefully but not happy at all  (Read 2544 times)

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Offline DK84

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Married forcefully but not happy at all
« on: February 06, 2015, 02:53:40 PM »
Good Day,

I came for Visit to India for about a month and my marriage took place 10 days ago during this time in very difficult circumstances. currently I live and work in Canada.

Actually, my parents found a girl for me about 3 years ago in India, but because of some family misunderstandings and mismatched my parents rejected them, however me and a girl came very close to each other almost on the verge of love marriage.

Three years later my parents again found a girl for me as per their choice but they knew before marriage that I didn't like a girl and was crying to stop marriage like anything, they emotionally tourchered me to extreme level, abused badly and forced me to marry that girl. because I am emotionally weak, my family took advantage of that and tighten their grip on me.

Me and my old girlfriend have cried and fought a lot to salvage our relation life long but my parents messed up our dreams. Today, I am not happy at all with my marriage nor my wife especially the way my parents behaved and treated to me for this, I don't think I will be happy ever or can keep my wife happy ever. me and my wife don't have any kind of relationship yet.

On the other hand, my old girl friend still crying like anything as she can't live without me so am I as our dream is broken. Because of my parents ego and selfishness three lifes' are on the verge of sacrifice for rest of the life. whatever happened my parents blame my girl friend for everything and still today they call her parents and use bad language to them.

I personally believe, my wife is not at fault and deserves happiness and better person and hence all I am thinking is what are the ways I can convince my wife and talk to her to solve this problem, so that we can't carry on this burdened relation for rest of the life. My wife doesn't know about my past or my girl friend but she came to know after marriage that this was badly forced marriage to me. I came to Canada immediately after 2 days of my marriage because of my job.

My happiness any my smile which I have lost for 3 years lies with my girl friend and we are very happy with each other and can't live without each other, which my parents ignored completely and with current circumstances, me, my wife and my girl friend can never remain happy. my situation today is even difficult then before marriage, I am crying like anything today. I haven't spoken to my parents since I came to Canada.

Today, I am alone, hopeless and helpless, if someone can please share some of your thoughts on my situation and advise, that would be very much appreciated. 

Thank you very much for your time.

Offline advRanjithRajagopal

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Re: Married forcefully but not happy at all
« Reply #1 on: February 06, 2015, 10:15:51 PM »
how can we take decisions for you, its your life you make your choices, we can only suggest you only after you have decided on a path to follow.

are you planning to divorce?
adv.Ranjith Rajagopal

Offline DK84

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Re: Married forcefully but not happy at all
« Reply #2 on: February 06, 2015, 10:39:34 PM »
I understand situation is not favourable, but then if I am not happy i won't be able to keep my wife happy as well, whatever my parents did, I would not like me and my wife to pay for that rest of our lives.

Divorce is the only solution as I know where my happiness lies and my wife also deserves to be happy but my parents are very hard to face, they gave me very tough time before marriage and can do anything to save this relation in society as for them society, respect and ego more important than my happiness.

All I don't know is how to talk to my wife about this situation, how to convince her and what will happen if she or her parents won't agree

I need suggestion and advise, Please help me out

Thank you

Offline Surya

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Re: Married forcefully but not happy at all
« Reply #3 on: February 09, 2015, 03:43:59 AM »
you should speak to your wife about your past , whether she can understand you or not...With her consent you can divorce her by mutual consent under section 13B of The Hindu Marriage Act, otherwise you should live with your wife and always try to make her happy.. Because this is the life of an innocent girl...

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