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Author Topic: My Husband and his family ill treats me because I'm a working woman  (Read 2634 times)

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Offline naukritesting

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I don't know any of you but just want to write my case out. Need advice from legal people that what should i do in my case. My husband and I are working in the same organization. It's being onen and half years since we got married and we have a 7 month old daughter. Ours was a love marriage although at that time i never knew what my life was going to enter. We got married in a typical baniya style , me being a Sindhi so we had a Inter Caste marriage. It was a grand wedding. My father did every possible stuff to impress my in laws. My husband has a huge family where his 2 brothers, their wives, their 3 children, my father in law, my mother in law, my husband grand father and grand mother living under one roof. In starting everything was going fine but then this family has a way to torture Bahu's. They want Bahu to do entire household work without even raising her voice. I being the only working lady in the family is mentally tortured daily. I wake up at 6 am in the morning and i'm in kitchen at 6:30am. I prepare my husband's lunch, and for his huge family i knit the floor , prepare a Subzi that is called subah ki subzi, give my husband breakfast in his hand, then give bath to my daughter and give her my feed. After doing my house hold chrous i leave for my office. At 9pm i return back home. When  i have a off on weekends i do all the household chorus without fail. Now the problems what i have faced in the family is :

1. Daily I'm abused by my sister in laws that you only do the morning stuff . They are always supported by my husband
2. My husband hasn't bought me a single piece if cloth in this span of marriage and because of this i'm forced to buy clothes online baceuse he never takes me to buy clothes. My jeans, leggings are totally torn but he never pays heat to this. In an incident i was complaining of a broken slipper but its being one and half month my husband hasn't taken me to buy a pair of slipper because the market near by has not got any good shop for buying slippers and he doesnt take me to a market too far from his house to buy stuff
3. In my whole married life I was told that you are not allowed to go out on weekends because my Bhabhi's are there in house daily  and its their first right to go out on weekends . You are working and you go out of house daily so better stay at home on weekends and do kitchen stuff
4, When my baby was born everything even a single baniyan of the child was from my parents home. My husband didnt even buy a single stuff for my kid. Only 2 dry sheets and 2 packets of diapers were bought by him.
5. Daily I'm being told that you are not doing enough stuff  and you should quit your job to satisfy the household work.
6. My husband never talks to me, although we travel together but in span of 4 hours travelling daily he hardly talks to me and says that he never feels the need to talk to me because he doesnt feel comfortable.
7. He is always happy with his bhabhi's and never feels the need to involve me in his discussions or his decisions. He gives whole of his salary to his father who in return gives me 7000 per month as pocket money and 5000 as pocket money to me. His father also analyzes my bank statement every year for each entry done in the year.
8. He also deprives me of sex and never come close to me. When i usually ask me for sex then he says you always want sex and nothing else . I dont like to do it all the time. We usually do intercourse once in a month or more.
9. I'm also accused to wearing jeans while going to office and not allowed to wear sleeveless however my sister in law wears sleeveless daily and my husband supports him.
10. My husband has many times accused me in front of his family members and even has asked them not to allow me to prepare food for him.
11. My mother in law and two sister in laws has clearly told me that my husband is theirs and i should leave the house and leave my husband.
12. My mother in law at one time is a good lady who takes care of my daughter however i sometimes feel she is doing this because she doesnt want his son to go away from him
13. All three of them consistenly bitches about me and even tell me that i'm a useless creature who doesnt know how to handle things. even my second sister in law has insulted me in front of house maid. They also have asked me to apologize to the house maid because i once instructed her to do a particular job and my sister in law told me that i dont have right to instruct to a house maid.
14. When i was pregnant while returning to home i used to fell very hungry and in the starting i used to take my dinner before his sister in laws .on this my husband accused me that i want him to get separated from his family. After that it was not one day when i ate before them.  My husband even spooked to such a level that i was forced to cut off my hand when i was expecting.  When i complaint him in my pregarncy that i cannot iron my clothes due to back pain please allow me to go to market for this then he clearly told me that if my sister in laws do this why not you.. You are useless.

15. I'm also being told that being a working lady you cannot even take care of your kid and you are spoiling her life. However her wishes are only fulfilled by what i earn, my husband doesnt spend on hers.

16. My husband is a pampered guy who wants everything in his hand, if i tell him that i cannot do this then he accuses me and says if my brothers get this in hand why not me.. you are not a good wife not a good woman,, you should first learn to be a woman.. you are horrible creature.

17. I dnt know but when i do every household chorus and not utter a word about his family he is always happy but once i tell him that im facing a issue then he says im not a good wife.

In all these circumstances I'm always being ill treated and no one listens to me. If i say that i'll lodge a complaint then my husband says do whatever you want we have enough money and your case will not be heard. Please tell me that is all this a mentally torture or every working girl has to face this???? Please suggest.

Offline advlaxmanadvani

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What you are going through is mental cruelty.
checking your personal bank account is a serious breach of privacy.

commenting on clothing is also a cruelty.

denying sex is also a cruelty.

not maintaning wife and taking care of her material needs is also cruelty.

you should first of all lodge a Domestic violence complaint in CAW cell.

there try to change the situation.

else i see no reason in continuing with this inhuman marriage situation
Advocate laxman Advani
 Ahmedabad legal Practitioner

Offline saravanan.s

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just give a complaint to the protection officer and she will prepare a domestic information report and would also file the case with the magistrate can ask for protection order,custody order,maintenance order etc.this is purely an act of domestic violence and complain to a po or caw cell ASAP


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I suggest you to please keep some patience.. I appreciate your hardwork doing this ghar ka kaam.  Do not go so fast .. manage it if you can .. There is nothing in this legal case. Give him your love and melt him with your love.
Otherwise , record all the conversation and make the video recordings forward online to police and file the FIR, There is procedure for doing this online , you can even have a cup of tea in office on char and do it from your office online ...


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