I got married in January 2014 . Mine was an arrange marriage . After some days I got to know my husband is an alcoholic. In prior of our wedding he has just told me that he occasionally drink with friends but later I found he used to drink daily . And come late night at ( daily after 11.30 pm ) and in heavily drunk condition. My in laws didn't say anything to him because they are threatened by my husband's anger. and moreover he was there beloved son. They support his wrongdoings.
After coming home he used to force me for making physical relation. I was feeling raped daily.
No one in my paternal family even smoke. This was so horrible for me to leave with a heavily drunk monster in a room.
2) Once in night around 2.30 am , when I was sleeping I heard some voice when I woke up suddenly , I found my husband is watching a porn movie. When I shout him what he is doing he slapped me . Later I looked in his browser history and I found lot of things that were enough to understand that he was a lusty person. I got some of the vulgar conversation of him with known girls. He has searched on google with words " sexy girls nude pics " . History was full of porn video websites. I cried for two hours at that day .
3) He do not give a single rupee to his family. He earns 15000 salary but he spent all this money on drinks . Till 5th day of moth he had 0 money left. Then he started asking to his father for money even for daily petrol . My sister in law is only responcible person in home. She earned bread for family. My husband has no shame in asking money to his younger sister.
3) He stole money from my purse for drinks many times . Money I got from father in law for daily expenses , money I received from elder ones as blessing at the time of marriage. He kept taunting me for the job as I was not doing job ,and preparing for bank exams. He said many times me a beggar whenever I ask him for money.
This happened almost every day from then , He used to abuse me for each things. " chate padenge , jute marunga do , matha mat kha mera , this is how he talked in day to day conversation .
I tried to resolve the things for first two months , then I told my mother in law , father in law , sister in law . They only said me " tum sudharo usko , tumhara farj hai " , I said how can you all say this then they said " then take your own decision " .
I told my parents then . They tried to make him understand that drinking and abusing habit is only ruining your family and our daughter's life but he then misbehaved with my parents also. My father gave him one month time to show some improvement.
But after this he became more violent and more abusive.
Then one day I went out with his uncle and aunt to other city to meet his relatives. Uncle asked him also to go with us but he denied. When I came back from their , I found my husband fully drunk .He was shouting on me that why I went to relative place. When I told him not to shout , He started beating me . he had beaten me brutally. I cried and shouted for help . My father in law came in to room and saved me.
At that night I decided to move on. It was 9th july. 2014 . I called my brother at 5AM early morning . He came their and took me with him . It was very hard to take this big decision for me as I come from a middle class family with very conservative family values. But I am lucky to have my parents and brother they accepted my decision .
For fifteen days my in laws or my husband even didn't call me or my parents for apology. After 15 days when matter comes outside to other family members also like to his uncle , aunties . They called and ask for apology .
But my father told them we need time to think whether they want to send me back or not. Meanwhile my husband used to send me love messages and apology messages but later in december he started sending me threatening & abusing messages like " mai sab ko khatam kr dunga " tum dekhna iska anjam " tumhare office me aaker hungame krunga " . It's been 11 month now and I am still stick on my decision as I don't want to go back their. I do not have any respect for him. Moreover I am scared of him to live in a common room with him.
We have talked with him the y are not ready for mutual divorce.
I have consulted with a lawyer yesterday but he told me that base is not so strong for divorce. as I do not have any medical proof of assault. What he said " do teen bar ki mar pit me talak nahi hota , aur sharab to aaj kal koun nahi pita h to kya sab talak le lenge .
I don't know what to do in this condition. Please help me to get out from this mess.