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Author Topic: So Confused! What Should I do?  (Read 832 times)

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Offline Apli77

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So Confused! What Should I do?
« on: March 17, 2016, 01:56:49 AM »
I have a normal story. A 12 years of marriage that has been rocked by the revelation that my husband who is a great dad, and a good person, slept with another woman (an unmarried subordinate in his office, still employed) in 2014.

I was away to my parental home because I was due with our second baby in 2014, and this woman propositioned sex with him.

What I know now is that they had two months of gala time, and the co-worker knew that he was married (the bitch even attended parties hosted by hubby and me in the past) and when he finally tried to put an end to it, this woman told him that she was pregnant with his child and had taken abortion pills (no proof of pregnancy or anything given). She has since then declared that neither will she ever leave my husband, and that she is "so much in love" that she will kill herself if he ever tries to separate himself from her.

There has been no intercourse between them since those first two months of their steamy relationship, and my husband was trying to keep this affair under wrap till his cover got blown off.

When I confronted him, he has said that he made a mistake, and he wants to be with me and not her. He has been trying to extract himself from the situation, but the other woman has made his office life hell, because my husband has more to lose professionally than her, if this gets known.

I was too shocked initially. I am now trying to process whatever has happened, and I can either leave or stay. I have not told my family anything.

But the lives of my children who adore their father is also involved.

1. Should I leave him?
2. If my husband makes a final showdown with the other woman, and she harms herself, what would be the consequence?
3. Should I meet the other woman and let her know that I know everything?
4. If I file for divorce, how much time would it take?

« Last Edit: March 17, 2016, 02:01:21 AM by Apli77 »

Offline rajgopal sripathi

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Re: So Confused! What Should I do?
« Reply #1 on: March 17, 2016, 04:42:25 AM »
HI
You have plenty of choices.
First option:  Assuming for children's sake, you wish the marriage to continue, then ask your husband to cut off all relationships with that woman. The girl might respond throwing all dramas and nataks. don't get scared at all. You stand firm on your decision with your husband. Cutting off relationships will include resignation from his current employment and moving on to another employment. You don't confront the girl personally at any point of time. Also take charge of all his finances(bank accounts, properties etc). be firm and get all of the properties transferred immediately in your name. because you dont know when and what the girl or your husband do .
Second option: GO FOR A DIVORCE. A man who has cheated you that too when you were carrying his second child does not warrant your love and affection.
File a divorce case, ask for maintenance (that will take away 90% of his monthly salary) and also the full share of his properties.
Also file a nuisance and prostitution case against the girl and your husband and throw both of them in jail.
Rajgopal Sripathi
Mobile:9704772200
email:rajgopal@legalwin.in

Offline adv.amarnath

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Re: So Confused! What Should I do?
« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2016, 09:02:13 PM »
1. Should I leave him?

For the sake of your children's mentality, you can go for Judicial Separation.

2. If my husband makes a final showdown with the other woman, and she harms herself, what would be the consequence?
When an offence committed by your husband then he has to face punishment. It is better to tactfully handle the situation and avoid that girl slowly.

3. Should I meet the other woman and let her know that I know everything?
You may, there is nothing bar and nothing harm, I can see.

4. If I file for divorce, how much time would it take?
It depends from court to court. It is suggestible to go for mutual divorce (1 year almost)
Regards,

Amarnath Sanyal
Advocate
Email - adv.amarnath.sanyal@gmail.com
Mob - 09830303322

Offline Apli77

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Re: So Confused! What Should I do?
« Reply #3 on: March 18, 2016, 11:11:22 PM »
Thank you for your reply, Sir.

My husband is a director in the company, and the company is still struggling to take off. His life savings are invested in it. It will not be easy to change his employment, or the city.

The girl can be thrown out, but she can file for sexual harassment (she has threatened in the past).

Also, the girl threatens that she would kill herself and ensure that an abetment case levies on my husband.

I know I should be harsh, and I have been brutally hurt, but getting him out of the workplace is not easy.

We do own a house in another city, and that is in my name.



HI
You have plenty of choices.
First option:  Assuming for children's sake, you wish the marriage to continue, then ask your husband to cut off all relationships with that woman. The girl might respond throwing all dramas and nataks. don't get scared at all. You stand firm on your decision with your husband. Cutting off relationships will include resignation from his current employment and moving on to another employment. You don't confront the girl personally at any point of time. Also take charge of all his finances(bank accounts, properties etc). be firm and get all of the properties transferred immediately in your name. because you dont know when and what the girl or your husband do .
Second option: GO FOR A DIVORCE. A man who has cheated you that too when you were carrying his second child does not warrant your love and affection.
File a divorce case, ask for maintenance (that will take away 90% of his monthly salary) and also the full share of his properties.
Also file a nuisance and prostitution case against the girl and your husband and throw both of them in jail.

Offline Apli77

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Re: So Confused! What Should I do?
« Reply #4 on: March 18, 2016, 11:15:52 PM »
Thank you for your reply, Amarnath Sir.

What is judicial separation?

The girl is a drama queen, and I really just want to strangle her throat. But I will not do it.

I feel bad. I know she lured my husband, but it is my husband's flaw that he fell in the trap.

My husband does not want to leave me. He is apologetic, but I am unable to decide what I want to do.

If I start divorce proceedings, do I have to tell my family?

1. Should I leave him?

For the sake of your children's mentality, you can go for Judicial Separation.

2. If my husband makes a final showdown with the other woman, and she harms herself, what would be the consequence?
When an offence committed by your husband then he has to face punishment. It is better to tactfully handle the situation and avoid that girl slowly.

3. Should I meet the other woman and let her know that I know everything?
You may, there is nothing bar and nothing harm, I can see.

4. If I file for divorce, how much time would it take?
It depends from court to court. It is suggestible to go for mutual divorce (1 year almost)

Offline rajgopal sripathi

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Re: So Confused! What Should I do?
« Reply #5 on: March 19, 2016, 03:17:04 AM »
Hi
First you take control of his finances(including investments made by him in the company).

Since the company is still struggling to take off, can they retrench workers (the girl included). because if the company is struggling, they can always retrench workers. that way the company can atleast save cost and on account of the company finances, the girl can be thrown out of the company . I think ,you should think differently with out taking blame directly, but use the circumstances at hand to get the girl move out of your husband's life.
Rajgopal Sripathi
Mobile:9704772200
email:rajgopal@legalwin.in

Offline adv.amarnath

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Re: So Confused! What Should I do?
« Reply #6 on: March 19, 2016, 11:25:39 AM »
Judicial separation is an order where court directs husband and wife to stay separately. As it is a matrimonial dispute, I would request you to send me email for further clarification. I do not want to discuss a matrimonial matter in open forum.
Regards,

Amarnath Sanyal
Advocate
Email - adv.amarnath.sanyal@gmail.com
Mob - 09830303322

 

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