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Author Topic: My life is in stake- Please help me  (Read 301 times)

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Offline Devan.Suresh

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My life is in stake- Please help me
« on: February 20, 2017, 04:42:38 AM »
Hi all,

This story may be quite long and boring. Please bear with me and understand my situation and help me.

I am from very poor background where I have to earn to finish my schooling. My dad and mom were uneducated and dad was working for daily wages.With great difficulty I had completed my B.Com graduation in evening college with the help of money which I was earning in the day time. After I started earning my family come up to good standards. I had to take care of my sister marriage expenses and shifting ourselves to good two bedroom home.

Once I completed B.com I registered for MBA but could not complete due to various reason.  I switched multiple companies to settle in life and get good salary.After all this commitments got cleared I started to look for my future and searched groom for myself and I got my future wife via matrimony. I told there entire family like I do not have any own home or bank balance and I am earning 60000 and I have still not completed MBA. They also agreed with my proposal and we had very grand marriage and things went well. My wife was also working and she was earning close to 40000. I have taken loan for marriage and took little more loan to get a big flat for rent. So I had debts on my name while marriage which is close to 12 Lakhs.

Our marriage happened in Sep 2015 in Tamilnadu and I am from Bangalore. Post marriage I did not care of money and I spent close to one lakhs for honeymoon thinking that both will clear the loan faster. Once I got married I told all my life story to her and her true colors started coming out. She started degrading my parents and fighting with me always. And she stopped supporting me financially and she started complaining me that I am torturing her daily in my home. I tried my level best to keep her happy, however she was never tried to understand me.

Just to add on my wife is very intelligent and university gold medalist in Btech. After one week of marriage she said that she has some problem with her ankle and it is swollen up and she is under medicine for the same from past three years. She cannot walk more than one kilometer and she cannot climb steps. At the time of marriage she was under steroids and she said that steroids will give her health problem and she is stopping steroids and going Ayurveda and she also informed me not to inform my parents about this. I also agreed as it was my wife and took care of this and kept this matter secret and she has to visit doctor every two weeks once.

Health issue : Three years back she has high fever which affected her ankle bone and she was on steroids to kill ankle pain and walk normal. while days pass on she started getting health issues due to steroids and she moved to Ayurveda. She has to consume 6 tablets daily , two different Tonics , ointment every night along with hot water massage daily to walk normal for next day. This is her condition from past three years. After our engagement she did shopping, by which she was again bed ridden and then only she again took steroids to kill pain and got married to me. This entire was not informed to anyone of us including me. I got to know after one week of marriage.

And she informed me that she wanted to get convince as soon as possible because she is under lot of tablet which may delay her pregnancy. So I agreed and she conceived. these all happened within time span of two month. Meanwhile we had lot of fights and she fought with my mom very badly. At third month we both went to her native and she said that she will come after a week and from there she started making comments like I have cheated her in life for her money, She would not married me if she got to know that I had taken loan for marriage and she started objecting me taking care of my parents basic needs. she asked me to throw my parents out of my home and my dad has to earn for life.

Once she got convinced, she stopped taking tablets as it will affect baby, Once she stopped taking tablets she has become bed ridden from 2016 January. She said she will come on 5th month and she did not turn up and she said 7th month and she did not turn up. she lived with me only for 6 to 8 weeks. And she is on long leave from company. Now I do not even know if she is still the employee or quit the organization. however I got to know from different sources that she employee id is still active. I used to call daily and visit her home two weeks to convince her, but every time she use to degrade and scold me in bad language and scold my entire family. All these I kept secret thinking that she will become normal after delivery. But her attitude never changed. we have a beautiful angel as daughter. Post baby delivery, her mind set was same and my family came to know about this and we went to discuss second month of baby delivery. That time she started complaining against me that she is gold medalist and I have studied in evening college and what status I have to marry her. And I have loan on my name and with what dare I have agreed to marry gold medalist. Her parents also with her on same page.

Meanwhile there is no connection between me and her even on phone. She even refused to send baby picture to me

In that discussion also I have kept quiet and asked them to send baby and her to my home. Finally Dec 2016 we called them to discuss date to get her. That time she was in hospital for past one month for her leg operation and finally they have found the issue and the have fixed screws on her leg. this was never informed anyone of us. So finally again all in my family came to know about her leg problem and again last week we went to discuss.

Entire family had a huge fight and when we asked as why you have cheated us by marrying a handicapped girl, there are not ready to accept that everyone is telling that her daughter was walking normal. At the end of the conversation she said that she wants to live with me and she cannot come to Bangalore as she feels her life will be in danger and I have to quit my job and come to Hyderabad or Chennai and search for another job and start life by living my parents on road. Till I decide that she will stay in her mom place and I have to stay in Bangalore and she is ready to wait for ten years also in her mom plan, but she will not give divorce and they told us to get lost from their home.


And she is very much clear that she will not sign for any divorce papers and she wants to live with me and torture me. she can go to any extent to file case against me like dowry and I abused her. I have not taken even one rupee as dowry in marriage. I value relationship and not money. In this past one year of time, she has scolded me in very bad vulgar language and at one point of time I could not control my anger and I have also abused her vulgar language. I hate her to the core of my heart.

Regarding our sex life, I hardly were together, she slept with me only to get pregnant. I can even count the number of times I had sex with her. I never forced her thinking that she needs time to get used to it. When after five month when I asked her, she told strictly that I should not touch her in entire life and we can never have sex and we should live together for baby future. she also told me that I can go have sex with any prostitute and she does not have any issue with that. She treats me like shit because I do not have money and own house. Now I do not even have desire to see her or touch her.

I have lost sleep from past one year and spent money on her like water and now I am in huge debt and my 80 percent of salary goes for EMI only. Now I am really completely down in life and I want to come out of her relationship. She will tell in the court that she wants to live with me and she cannot give divorce. If I file case in different way, then for sure she will put case against me like me dowry or physical torture. She hardly stayed with me for two months.

she is expected to walk normal in next  three months, however she will be having screw in her ankle forever and I am not sure how much she can walk and be normal .I am not sure that will she be going to job or quit. she is BTech and MBA. And I will get good job for my Bcom qualification in other city with this much salary. Now my current take home salary is range between 75000 to 80000 and both my parents are not well. My parents both are good and healthy. However dad has recently undergone kidney stone operation and mom has gone through spinal cord surgery six years back and both are doing good on health and they are independent apart form financially. I am clearing my debts slowly and taking care of home and family

Please help me a way to get divorce smoothly along with the clarification on the below mentioned points. I am ready to put case against her on any grounds, even on her character also like I have doubt on her character, she is not able to satisfy me or she is not taking care of my parents. Please give answer by point by point for each point.

1 - If I start applying divorce, How long will it take to get the divorce.
2 - Need a clear clarification as how much it will cost for me to get divorce.
3 - On what all grounds I can ask for divorce.
4 - what is the safest way to approach divorce without using word divorce and the court should insist her to come and live in Bangalore or give divorce and I cannot shift city. I am ready to bear her for my daughter future.
5 - If at all it end in divorce, how much compensation should I give to her life. Even I am ready for one time settlement and not monthly.
6 - On what basis court will decide the compensation. She is capable of earning and leading her life.
7 - This marriage is pure cheating case and is there any way to prove this?
8 - How much I should pay lawyer fees. I should also see that if I can bear. Plan for now is to keep quiet for six month and then start court proceedings. However I have started to do ground work as of now only.
9 - wife staying in Pondicherry state, Our marriage happened in Tamilnadu and got registered in Pondicherry and I am staying in Bangalore. Where should I apply for divorce?
10 - I cannot take leave often from MNC and travel to Pondicherry  for court. Let her come to court here. By what way I can make sure that the court hearing happens in Bangalore.
11 - Will I be having any issue in my profile from my office if I apply divorce case.

Please help me with all this points. Post reply from this I will ask further doubts. Sorry it is too long, but this is my life is in stake.

with regards,

Offline adv.amarnath

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Re: My life is in stake- Please help me
« Reply #1 on: February 21, 2017, 12:55:09 PM »
I am replying on apparent reading of post...

1 - If I start applying divorce, How long will it take to get the divorce.
Ans: It varies from court to court

2 - Need a clear clarification as how much it will cost for me to get divorce.
Ans: It is also varies from lawyer to lawyer

3 - On what all grounds I can ask for divorce.
Ans: As specified in the Act

4 - what is the safest way to approach divorce without using word divorce and the court should insist her to come and live in Bangalore or give divorce and I cannot shift city. I am ready to bear her for my daughter future.
Ans: There is no such proceedings

5 - If at all it end in divorce, how much compensation should I give to her life. Even I am ready for one time settlement and not monthly.
Ans: There is no provision in law for payment of compensation. It is mutual agreement how much lump sum is to be paid by the husband to wife under the provision of Permanent Alimony.

6 - On what basis court will decide the compensation. She is capable of earning and leading her life.
Ans: Irrelevant Question.
 
7 - This marriage is pure cheating case and is there any way to prove this?
Ans: To prove that marriage happened by way of cheat then you should have filed your case within 6 months.

8 - How much I should pay lawyer fees. I should also see that if I can bear. Plan for now is to keep quiet for six month and then start court proceedings. However I have started to do ground work as of now only.
Ans: We are not good person to fix professional fee of a lawyer. Every lawyer has his own fees structure. I have also.

9 - wife staying in Pondicherry state, Our marriage happened in Tamilnadu and got registered in Pondicherry and I am staying in Bangalore. Where should I apply for divorce?
Ans: 1) where marriage was solemnised or 2) Last matrimonial Home or 3) where your wife is residing

10 - I cannot take leave often from MNC and travel to Pondicherry  for court. Let her come to court here. By what way I can make sure that the court hearing happens in Bangalore.
Ans: You are no one to decide about jurisdiction. As said above, you have to file your case within those jurisdiction.

11 - Will I be having any issue in my profile from my office if I apply divorce case.
Ans: Hahaha... Definitely not... It is a divorce case not a criminal case.
Regards,

Amarnath Sanyal
Advocate
Email - adv.amarnath.sanyal@gmail.com
Mob - 09830303322

Offline Devan.Suresh

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Re: My life is in stake- Please help me
« Reply #2 on: February 22, 2017, 04:23:37 AM »
Thanks a lot for taking time and replying for all my questions. I am quite clear.. However I have few points to be clarified. Request you to please response with the closest possible answer.

Offline advuma

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Re: My life is in stake- Please help me
« Reply #3 on: February 22, 2017, 08:45:58 PM »
hello adv.amarnath,
i was going through this reply of yours and was impressed you reply to the point, that is a reflection of your high standards of legal Knowledge and practical experience, God bless
if u like my posting plz submit your comments

Hi, I am advocate Uma Saika, from Assam

Offline adv.amarnath

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Re: My life is in stake- Please help me
« Reply #4 on: February 24, 2017, 11:54:59 AM »
Thank you Uma (Adv), for appreciating me. Will try to share my knowledge and experience in future through this forum.
Regards,

Amarnath Sanyal
Advocate
Email - adv.amarnath.sanyal@gmail.com
Mob - 09830303322

Offline Devan.Suresh

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Re: My life is in stake- Please help me
« Reply #5 on: March 10, 2017, 05:05:40 PM »
Thanks for the reply. Lot of things got clarified. I would like to request you to help me in one more round of clarification and I have few more clarification to be taken before I take next step. I have added my further question from my end on top of your answer. I need some really insider and close to reality information. Again requesting you to help me and thanks a lot for your advice once again.



1 - If I start applying divorce, How long will it take to get the divorce.
Ans: It varies from court to court ------------- Agreed, I just need an average on such kind of cased based on your experience.

2 - Need a clear clarification as how much it will cost for me to get divorce.
Ans: It is also varies from lawyer to lawyer ---------------- Totally agreed, this is not the forum to discuss the lawyer fees. I just need a range bound figure, so that I should see if I can manage the same. For Ex... 1 to 3 lakhs. 3 to 5 lakhs, 5 to 10 lakhs.

3 - On what all grounds I can ask for divorce.
Ans: As specified in the Act ------------ Thanks, just wanted to know the on my case as per the act. i just want to know if I have rights legally. Atleast one or two valid points. Before I could go to any lawyer and approach, I have to do ground work.

4 - what is the safest way to approach divorce without using word divorce and the court should insist her to come and live in Bangalore or give divorce and I cannot shift city. I am ready to bear her for my daughter future.
Ans: There is no such proceedings -------- No further question to this one.

5 - If at all it end in divorce, how much compensation should I give to her life. Even I am ready for one time settlement and not monthly.
Ans: There is no provision in law for payment of compensation. It is mutual agreement how much lump sum is to be paid by the husband to wife under the provision of Permanent Alimony.

6 - On what basis court will decide the compensation. She is capable of earning and leading her life.
Ans: Irrelevant Question.
 
7 - This marriage is pure cheating case and is there any way to prove this?
Ans: To prove that marriage happened by way of cheat then you should have filed your case within 6 months.

8 - How much I should pay lawyer fees. I should also see that if I can bear. Plan for now is to keep quiet for six month and then start court proceedings. However I have started to do ground work as of now only.
Ans: We are not good person to fix professional fee of a lawyer. Every lawyer has his own fees structure. I have also. ---------- Thanks and I just need industry average.

9 - wife staying in Pondicherry state, Our marriage happened in Tamilnadu and got registered in Pondicherry and I am staying in Bangalore. Where should I apply for divorce?
Ans: 1) where marriage was solemnised or 2) Last matrimonial Home or 3) where your wife is residing

10 - I cannot take leave often from MNC and travel to Pondicherry  for court. Let her come to court here. By what way I can make sure that the court hearing happens in Bangalore.
Ans: You are no one to decide about jurisdiction. As said above, you have to file your case within those jurisdiction.

11 - Will I be having any issue in my profile from my office if I apply divorce case.
Ans: Hahaha... Definitely not... It is a divorce case not a criminal case.

The further questions are below

12 - I tried to reach my wife to talk regarding the mutual concent of divorce - The neither responding to calls nor messages. She has blocked me completely. I do not think she will bother for the lawyer notice and she will travel to bangalroe for court proceedings.what will happen in such kind of cases? if she does not turn up? If the hearing goes to favour of me as she did not appear to court? If yes then after how many months or years court will give such decision?

13 - I heard from one of my friend that he went to court on every month for the court. does we need to go every month? will the lawyer charges me on everymonth? Question might not be appropriate, however I need to know the practice on ground so that I can negotiate with lawyer.

14 - After fixing lawyer if I come to know that he is not good or eating only money, can I change the lawyer in between?

15 - Just need to know the cost of filing divorce.

Thanks once again for your future reply.

with regards,
Prabhu Selvaraj


Offline adv.amarnath

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Re: My life is in stake- Please help me
« Reply #6 on: March 12, 2017, 02:13:32 AM »
1 - If I start applying divorce, How long will it take to get the divorce.
Ans: It varies from court to court ------------- Agreed, I just need an average on such kind of cased based on your experience.
Reply: I cannot share my experience and legal tactics in open forum as well as under free online consultation

2 - Need a clear clarification as how much it will cost for me to get divorce.
Ans: It is also varies from lawyer to lawyer ---------------- Totally agreed, this is not the forum to discuss the lawyer fees. I just need a range bound figure, so that I should see if I can manage the same. For Ex... 1 to 3 lakhs. 3 to 5 lakhs, 5 to 10 lakhs.
Ans: Same answer repeats.

3 - On what all grounds I can ask for divorce.
Ans: As specified in the Act ------------ Thanks, just wanted to know the on my case as per the act. i just want to know if I have rights legally. Atleast one or two valid points. Before I could go to any lawyer and approach, I have to do ground work.
Ans: Without knowing your matter in details, it is not possible for me to answer

8 - How much I should pay lawyer fees. I should also see that if I can bear. Plan for now is to keep quiet for six month and then start court proceedings. However I have started to do ground work as of now only.
Ans: We are not good person to fix professional fee of a lawyer. Every lawyer has his own fees structure. I have also. ---------- Thanks and I just need industry average.
Reply: Not possible


The further questions are below

12 - I tried to reach my wife to talk regarding the mutual concent of divorce - The neither responding to calls nor messages. She has blocked me completely. I do not think she will bother for the lawyer notice and she will travel to bangalroe for court proceedings.what will happen in such kind of cases? if she does not turn up? If the hearing goes to favour of me as she did not appear to court? If yes then after how many months or years court will give such decision?
Ans: I cannot answer any future event rather I can reply on specific situation. You have to go for paid online consultation

13 - I heard from one of my friend that he went to court on every month for the court. does we need to go every month? will the lawyer charges me on everymonth? Question might not be appropriate, however I need to know the practice on ground so that I can negotiate with lawyer.
Ans: I cannot reply in the open forum. I can say about my practice and procedure not others. YOu have to go for paid online consultation

14 - After fixing lawyer if I come to know that he is not good or eating only money, can I change the lawyer in between?
Ans: yes

15 - Just need to know the cost of filing divorce.
Ans: It varies from lawyer to lawyer.
Regards,

Amarnath Sanyal
Advocate
Email - adv.amarnath.sanyal@gmail.com
Mob - 09830303322

 

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