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Author Topic: Kindly reply and help me.  (Read 201 times)

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Offline ramrajsingh

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Kindly reply and help me.
« on: August 06, 2018, 02:33:29 AM »
Hi, im a 45 year old man married for 15 years. But after 5 years of marriage a son later, my wife walked out of home because of issues with my mom and sister. Mine is a joint family. She went on to live with her parents in the same city. She never returned home though i persistently called her, begged her. She wanted a separate home but I refused to leave my old parents. We are very well off, wife is a big officer too. Though we were living separately, we would meet occasionally, talk. This went on for a few years. Later she restricted me from meeting my son who is now 12 years old.

So i had to shift to her parents home and i lived there for 2 years. She was happy, son was happy though we never really got back as husband and wife. Unfortunately, my dad died and I had to return to my old ailing mom. So i begged my wife to return home as there was no one to trouble her at home. But she refused to come to my home but she kept in touch with me. But meeting my son was banned and i was so terribly hurt as I had no family life.

Last year my son wanted to go a holiday so we even went abroad on a holiday for him. But she later banned me fro meeting my son again though he was missing me. Its been 1 year since i saw or spoke to him. But she keeps talking to me whenever she needs help and I do the same. I still keep requesting to return but she doesnt.

Somewhere after she left, i got into an affair with a married woman who is separated ( not divorced yet) from her hubby. I really loved her and was in full fledged affair without the knowledge of my wife. I know its cheating but then I had no physical, emotional relationship with my wife since she left. I kept begging her to come home in the hope of starting a new life but she never did so I continued my affair with the woman i loved. Now suddenly my wife came to know of the affair, got hold of all mails and pics my lover and I exchanged and now threatening me for a divorce.I dont want to give her divorce as i really want to try a new life with her. But she is very furious that she was kept in dark for 5 years of affair. I dont know what to do and convince her not to give divorce. I tried to tell her that we should start a new life but she is very angry after knowing the intimate details of my affair and is refusing to excuse me.

WHat are my chances of avoiding a divorce.

Offline advkartik

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Re: Kindly reply and help me.
« Reply #1 on: August 06, 2018, 08:47:25 AM »
yours is a unique case your wife does not have any kind of physical relationship with you, does not allow you to meet your child.

and she is so hurt about your affair.

on the other hand you got nothing out of marriage and your wife does not allow you to meet your child.
yet you are dying to save a marriage that never existed.

both of you don't need legal advice both of you need to visit counselling.

which city are you from?

Offline ramrajsingh

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Re: Kindly reply and help me.
« Reply #2 on: August 06, 2018, 08:46:04 PM »
Thanks for the response.
Im from Delhi, she stays in Noida.
I dont think she will come for counselling. She doesnt let me meet my son for months and years unless there is a need like marriage, functions.
He cries for me but she doesnt let him see me.
Surprisingly, she talks/chats with me and we went on a holiday to Dubai 2 years ago as my son cried for it.
I still help her with issues and she does the same. But she refuses to live with me.
I can go and live with her but how can i leave my ailing mom and go lie with her parents? I still did for 2 years till my dad died.
Now she is hurt about the affair or her ego is hurt because she couldnt accept that a man who begs her to return home is actually in an affair?
Im also confused with what she wants
She threatens me with divorce every time we have a fight but then she never went ahead. We reconciled everytime but then we dont meet for months. That is not my decision but it is her decision.
Is it possible that she just wants me as a social status symbol?
If she cares about our son, why cant she adjust and live in my house with me?
Im not an alcoholic, not a wife-beater, i love her very much. The affair happened  but still Im ready to stop everything for wife and restart.
What do you think she will do now?
Will she go ahead with divorce this time because she has proofs of adultry?
What should I do now? Counselling wont help as she wont come.

Offline Johnh

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Re: Kindly reply and help me.
« Reply #3 on: August 08, 2018, 06:19:38 AM »
As from so long time she is not ready to move into your home, there is only one option that will stop from divorce and that is you have to shift to her home. As previously she was living with you happily for almost 2 years at her home, means she agreed to continue to live with you. So just try to convince her that you will stop your affair and live with her for the rest of life.

Offline ramrajsingh

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Re: Kindly reply and help me.
« Reply #4 on: August 08, 2018, 10:20:07 PM »
but will she allow that?
i have been cheating on her for 5 years and she happened to read very very private and dirty emails of me and my lover, saw pictures too and mails where i even said that I hated my wife etc etc
Moreover my ailing mom is alone at my home and she needs me and my support.
How can I leave my mom and stay with my inlaws?
will they treat me with any respect?
Can my wife now threaten me to expose my emails to my relatives and my extended family and friends and force me to have a mutual consent divorce?
Im sure those emails and pics are not enough sufficient to file a case of adultry against me because no email id was mentioned in those and pictures too very unclear.

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Re: Kindly reply and help me.
« Reply #4 on: August 08, 2018, 10:20:07 PM »

 

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